Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Clomid-Showmed

Everyone tells me that Clomid is the "deadly drug" when it comes to relationships.  When women are on Clomid their hormones are completely out of wack and they are almost impossible to be around (okay, maybe thats an over-exaggeration, but I hear it's pretty bad).  I just spent my Thanksgiving weekend taking my little round pills of Clomid, and I didn't feel any more hormonal or crazy than usual.   We have our first ultrasound on Friday and will probably perform the insemination over the weekend or on Monday.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Three week wait

Since this past insemination was less than ideal they scheduled an appointment for us to follow up with Dr. Faulk to discuss Lance's low quality and quantity sample.
Last Friday was the day I was supposed to get my blood drawn as a pregnancy test, but I was greeted by my period on Wednesday night. I got a call from the clinic on Friday wondering where I was and that I needed to start things for our next cycle but I was under the impression that we were done with inseminations.

So this month I thought I was going to be drug free. I thought we were done with insemination and I thought we were headed towards IVF. I thought Lance and I were going to take a few months off before we did IVF and I thought this was exactly what was supposed to happen.

But I was wrong.

We went in for our appointment today with Dr. Faulk and he begins to talk to us about what happened last month. I shared my frustration with getting a yeast infection the first month and getting the flu the second month. I shared my frustration with having increased dosage in femara the fertility med and no real increase in the amount of follicles I was releasing.
He discussed what we should do and suggested that we do a double sample this time and for us to do two more inseminations before we move onto IVF.

Basically he was concerned with the slow swimming and low numbers so he plans on giving us a media that will preserve the swimmers for 24 hours and wants us to collect two samples and they will combine them in the lab the day of the inseminations. In addition he changed my medication from Femara to Clomid (per my request... Although he thought I was crazy for suggesting to get on a med that will make me more crazy hormonal, but I just have had the impression for the last couple of months to change to Clomid).

While we were in the meeting lance said he had an overwhelming feeling that doubling up the sample and try again was what we should do... so that's what we are doing.

One thing that we were "worried" about is I am on cycle day 7 (since my period started a week ago) and we figured we would have to wait an entire month before we jumped into the inseminations again but after an ultrasound we discovered that's follicles are still itty bitty and acting like day 1 still so we are good for me to start Clomid today! And do inseminations in a week.

I can honestly say that since discovering the last 6 inseminations didn't work I have felt that in vitro was what was meant to be.  We would have to figure out a way to fork out the $12,000.00 and I was finally okay with the idea of spending such a large amount of money to get a baby.  But with these slight changes in our plan I can honestly say I am so grateful that we are not at that point quiet yet.  We don't HAVE to fork out that amount of money today or tomorrow, maybe one day, but hopefully not.   Sure the inseminations that we are doing are $1000 each, but I've gained a little renewed sense of hope that it will work.



Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Let the sleepy mornings begin

Ahh the joy (and by joy I mean torture) of the two week wait.  Mainly my disgust is with the progesterone and less with the time line of waiting two weeks to find out the pregnancy results.

Progesterone is a lovely hormone that I have to take nightly as a suppository.  It not only knocks me out for a pleasant nights rest (but eventful in the form of dreams), but it leaves me pretty groggy in the morning which is no bueno when the alarm clock rings at 5:30am. Oh and of course I can't omit the yummy discharge it leaves behind for the remainder of my day.  Needless to say I can't wait to stop taking progesterone, but at the same time trying to learn to suck it up because if the pregnancy test is + progesterone continues for the duration of the first trimester. 

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Last and Final IUI

Going into this last and final IUI I have been excited as the possibility of it working and finally being finished, but at the same time scared of it not working and the reevaluation process that will have to take place.  Yesterday was the day.  The FINAL IUI.  Time number 6.

Lance went in at 2:00 to collect and I followed up at 3:30 for the insemination part.  After waiting 10 minutes in the waiting room my name was called and was ushered to exam room one where I got ready and on the table I sat.  After a few minutes a lady popped her head in to tell me they were still preparing the sample and it would be another 10 minutes.  The LONGEST ten minutes ever!  Finally she walked back in and instead of jumping into the procedure she sat down and went over the numbers.

She started the conversation with.."have you talked to your husband since he left?"  confused at why that mattered I said no not really and she preceded to tell me how the sample he had collected was less than optimal. 

Our 5th cycle the numbers were:

2 ml in volume            12 million sperm           low motility (which is normal for us)

Our 6th cycle numbers were:

0.7ml in volume           1.9 million sperm         low motility.

Because of this drastic change they weren't sure if he just delivered a bad sample or if those were his honest numbers.  Ideally they want any insemination they perform to to have more than 5 million sperm.  Since we were under 2 million she said it was less than optimal.  She would perform the procedure but not charge us for it. 

We would schedule an appointment to regroup with our doctor a few days after my blood test (which is 2 1/2 weeks from right now). 

She then went on to say... "while this isn't ideal, you STILL have over a million sperm, and you only need ONE."

I'm pretty sure she was trying to be optimistic about everything but to be honest it made things a little more frustrating.   We only need one... what a concept.  Out of all the months and months we've tried and the billions of sperm who have been exposed to my eggs, I've only needed one to work, and instead of ONE working, billions have failed.

Needless to say I left the clinic a little frustrated and discouraged about the entire situation.
I mentioned to Lance last night that it feels like since we've been doing things at the clinic our situation had only gotten more and more complex and difficult.  I told him I felt as if all of our IUI cycles at my OBGYN were just a breeze, take a pill for 5 days and come in to the office a week later.  Since having gone to the fertility clinic the first cycle I was bombarded with a yeast infection right around ovulation time and hormones that made me psychotic.  The second cycle I needed to take additional hormones, estrogen, to increase my lining, and ended up with the stomach flu the week of ovulation, and now a "less than ideal" sample.  Maybe we have facing greater opposition because we are getting closer to having a baby?  Maybe this is my body telling me we need to take some R&R and forgo all these treatments.  I'm not sure, but we will find out on the 16th what our next path with consist of.  1) Baby.  2) no baby and some R&R,   3) No baby, pressing though with In Vitro. 

Friday, November 2, 2012

instacare = instabetter

A few hours after I got home from my appointment and had taken my estrogen I began to feel extremely nauseated.  I figured it was not a big deal, so I continued along and made dinner for Lance and I.  As I was finishing up cooking I became unbearably nauseous and chose to lay and watch TV in my bed instead of eat.  I tried chicken noodle soup, cup of noodles, toast, ect. nothing tasted good or relieved the churning feeling in my belly.  Soon after that I began my journey and friendship with my toilet, a very very close friendship for the remainder of the night and all into the following morning. 

I am not one to throw up on que.  I typically and just extremely nauseous and then have to gag myself to expel the grossness, but this time was definitely different.  I would sleep in bed for an hour and then jump up, run to the bathroom, and immediately expel my insides. Phenergan made me sleepy enough, but didn't cure the constant puking. 

Tuesday I spent the day in bed trying to rest my belly, but the acids were still churning away making me feel awful.  I tried some more soup, toast, a pear... after a bite I would hand it to my dear sweet husband who took the time to prepare it and say "sorry... can you eat it?"  It wasn't until about 5pm on Tuesday that I was able to eat.  1 ego waffle.  nutritious.. I know ;)

Feeling a little better, but still nauseous I made my way to my clinical rotation Wednesday.  I was hungry for the entire day, but couldn't get myself to eat a thing.  At lunch I bargained with the cafeteria to make me some rice, but was only able to eat a couple bites before I was "full".  I even went a little crazy and attempted a couple spoon fulls of taco soup! 
It wasn't until Wednesday night when my cravings got the best of me and Lance got me a happy meal from McDonalds as we drove to our friend's house for a Halloween gathering.  While I was there my stomach was so upset I couldn't sit up, I had to lay flat... weird I know.

3:30 am Thursday morning came too soon.  It was my scheduled time for my HCG injection.  I was still SOOOO nauseous and out of it that I gave MYSELF the shot, and then puked up that not so happy meal. 

Thursday I woke up at 9 am still feeling awful and unsure if I had the typical flu (since no one else around me was sick) or if I had food poisoning or if it was the estrogen that was making me sick.  I made my way down to the Holladay Instacare where the doctor also could NOT figure out what was wrong with me. 

They decided I needed some fluids so we hooked up an IV and in 2 liters of fluids went!  In addition I was given some IV Zofran for the nausea... I am now a true BELIEVER in IV Zofran!!! It was a miracle worker.  Slightly knocked me into la-la-land state, but it made the nausea go away!  I was also given some mylanta.  The doctor thought since I had been puking so much my stomach was on the super acidic side and mylanta would numb everything up and neutralize the acids, which it did wonders. 

I spent a good 3 hours at instacare, but it was well worth it.  I was even able to eat some chicken noodle soup for lunch and dinner without any issues!